The mum bod - my issues with body positivity

Back before I had children, I had self esteem issues. I thought horribly about my body as do many women out there. I thought I had a huge stomach, muffin top and goodness knows what else. I tried basically every diet under the sun and nothing could make me happy with the way I was. My pregnancy with Xavier was hard, I saw my body changing in ways I never dreamt of. Stretch marks, huge stomach, my boobs grew bigger at a different rate to one another. Just the usual really. After having him, I was mortified, I remember taking a photo when I was fresh out of the first shower after surgery. Now we all know you don't just automatically go back to your old body the moment the baby comes out, but for some reason I honestly couldn't believe what I looked like. I felt like a deflated balloon that was full of jelly. Look below to see me in all of my tired glory.

I rushed back into exercising. I worked out a lot and whilst I saw some difference, at the time I never could set my mind to a happy place when it came to body positivity. Below is a collage I made to show me before, during and after my pregnancy. Note the SUPER tight bonds workout leggings in the after photo. There was no way at that time I was letting people see my real body.

Stretch marks were a sore point for me. I thought I had them bad as a teenager, that nothing would make them worse.. Let me tell you that a full term baby of over 4kg.. can give even your stretch marks, stretch marks!

After Bailey, I have finally realised that my body is damn beautiful. This body is amazing, strong and has no need to 'bounce back'. My body manaed to grow two beautiful children, recover from two major abdominal surgeries within just over 1.5 years. My body has fed my children for varying amounts of time and my body has managed to be their source of comfort. Who is the world or me to say that this body doesn't kick ass?

So many times I see women doubting their self worth because of their looks. Heck I used to do the same, some days I still do. Its a sickening circle that unless we actively fill our minds with body positivity, we can never escape.

My new mantra when it comes to my body is 'It doesn't matter how fast I am, how strong I am or how small I am. My body has been tested in strength in ways some people can not even imagine. My body is wonderful and at the end of the day, I got two beautiful children that accompany my thousands of stretch marks.' There is no now photo being added to this blog. My now photo doesn't matter, its full of stretch marks, uneven skin tones and other things. These marks tell the story of my life, these marks are me.

Now do not get me wrong, I still enjoy exercising and I do have a dream body. But I have learnt that those things do not define me and who I m as a person. I do not need to be thin with unmarked skin to love who I am. So for the mother out there hating her stretch marks, the teenager out there hating the way their body is changing, the women out there who feels she is not skinny enough.. YOUR body tells the story of who you are, where you come from. Do not ever be ashamed of how your body looks. All my love, Bec x